I'm So Goth That...



This funny list was sent to my by one of our regular writers, D.J. Ivan. I'm not sure where it came from, but if anyone has seen it before, e-mail me and I'll give proper credit.

"I'm so GOTH that...."

1. I'm so goth, I got a tattoo of celtic knotwork starting at the top of my head, winding all the way down my body, and trailing five feet behind me on the floor.

2. I'm so goth I AM a tattoo.

3. I'm so goth my name is "Tattoo" and I was on Fantasy Island.

4. I'm so goth, in preschool, the only crayon I used was black.

5. I 'm so goth I use black cotton balls.

6. I'm so goth I dyed my shadow black.

7. I'm so goth I dyed my belly button black.

8. I'm so goth my pupils are black.

9. I'm so goth my black is blacker than your black. I call it "black black."

10. I'm so goth, whenever I walk into a room, all the lights go out.

11. I'm so goth the people in the grocery store have refused to sell me any cereal other than Count Chocula.

12. I'm so goth people ask me to AUTOGRAPH boxes of Count Chocula.

13. I'm so goth people touch me and they BECOME goth. They say, "Oh no, now I'm goth!"

14. I'm so goth I wear sunglasses when I open the refrigerator.

15. I'm so goth I don't paint my nails black--I bash them with a hammer.

16. I'm so goth I died and didn't notice.

17. I'm so goth, whenever I knock on somebody's door they give me candy.

18. I'm so goth I write everything on black paper with a black pen in the dark and can never read what the hell I've written!

19. I'm so goth, I'm not only "goth," but also "gothe" "goff" "gawth" "gauwth" "gothic" "gothik" "gothique" and "gawfickk" and soon I hope to be "gauewthickueu."

20. I'm so goth I make Richard Simmons sad.

21. I'm so goth I steal your Happy Meal.

22. I'm so goth I offered to sell my soul to the devil and he wouldn't take it!

23. I'm so goth, when I stop pouting, people ask, "What are YOU so happy about?"

24. I'm so goth, when I go outside, the sun sets.

25. I'm so goth the smile muscles in my face have atrophied.

26. I'm so goth the smile muscles in my face never GREW. What's a smile?

27. I'm so goth, when I was b