THE UPPER CRUST INTERVIEW
By Ronnie

Intro:
When talking to that regal band, the Upper Crust, several topics were discussed. The band is not shy about espousing their very own special beliefs about rock 'n roll.


E.C.: Your band has been described as glam rock, hard rock and punk rock...which one is it?

Upper Crust: Yes...

E.C.: All the above?

Upper Crust: I completely disagree, I was leaning towards punk...I think we are gonna start punking out more.

E.C.: Is a third album planned?

Upper Crust: Yes...

E.C.: Now for some silly questions...

Upper Crust: Please...

E.C.: Machiavelli said, "and above all a prince must endeavor in every action to obtain fame for being great and excellent".

Upper Crust: Exactly our philosophy! If not great and excellent, then debauched...

And when in doubt, powder heavily!

E.C.: What is lacking from today's music that the Upper Crust offers?

Upper Crust: Wigs, powdered wigs. More than wigs...the wits beneath the wigs. Depravity is missing. Everyone feels as though they have to behave themselves.

E.C.: Isn't rock and roll generally a "lower class" phenomenon?

Upper Crust: Well, that's a common misconception. Good breeding breeds good rock and roll...we're out to prove it.

E.C.: How did the upper crust chose rock and roll as opposed to say, chamber music?

Upper Crust: Chamber music is boring! Rock and roll is depraved...we seek depravity in all its delicious forms. We were raised on chamber music, but when we got together to have fun, we naturally started playing rock and roll. Can you blame us?

E.C.: If you could have a duel with any other musician, who would it be? Who annoys you the most?

Upper Crust: Eddie Vetter has been very annoying.

E.C.: How about the Red Hot Chili Peppers?

Upper Crust: I would LOVE to challenge that guy to a duel. The singer, Anthony. I would like to cut all his hair off with a sword.

E.C.: Pistols or swords?

Upper Crust: Swords...I've studied under the finest Italian fencing masters...

E.C.: What do you think of the trend towards goatees, body piercing, tattoos, etc. Is it hopeless for these groups to try?

Upper Crust: Well, they've obviously attached themselves to something of a fad, haven't they? Whereas the values we uphold are more well established, lasting and rewarding.

E.C.: Has the Upper Crust played Europe yet? It seems as the home of the Monarchy and privileged it would be a natural.

Upper Crust: They are scared of us...we sent them all our publicity and they are obviously terrified.

E.C.: One last question, should the Titanic have had more lifeboats for its first class passengers?

Upper Crust: Yes, oh by all means. Any of the steerage passengers took up valuable space for refined persons. That's the worst tragedy.




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